Week 8

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."


I look at my cousin, I haven't seen her since we found out she had a still birth and my cousins beautiful baby girl was taken up to heaven. We sold all of the things we got for her to help pay for the baby coffin, and the cost of everything else. I was all just much for us to handle and deal with. Trying to be there for my cousin when all I wanted to do was cry. I was the first one she told when she found out and she talked about the pregnancy. I helped her pick her name and now I had to help her pick what font to use on the head stone to write her beautiful name. I will never forget writing the sign and putting it up, trying to keep my head up, trying not to cry. Having to tell all the people who came by that we were all okay and repeating it over and over again to random strangers who had no idea who i was. Random people hugging me and telling me it will be okay, and God just wanted her to come home. I didn't believe that or anything else anyone told me, it was just a terrible thing and there was no way to explain why it happened. The worst part about this is that the doctors couldn't tell us what happened, no one knew why. We were stuck, trying to pay for the funeral, for the headstone, and we didn't know why we had to do that. Nothing made sense. My cousin who i was so close to became so distant and started doing some really heavy drugs, and she hasn't been the same since, and I don't think she will ever been the same, because she will never see her baby girl grow up, or even take her first steps, she wont see her again, and all my cousin seen of her baby girl was the still and silent baby laying in her arms and laying in a coffin.


This story isnt made up, its real. And it still hurts to talk about it. even years later.